Jumat, 30 Desember 2011

I screw u, boy.


yell yeah confused.. know what?
the boy i ever loved kindaa......hate me? i meant hate us.
whether ist not upside down? seriously, the one who shouldly is me.... and her.
but we dont take it seriously haha, we enjoyed it.
we enjoyed it.. kinda cruel words huh? HELL YEAAAAAAAAAH.
cause we dont throw so much hate to him, what we throw to him is..
FAD! BAHAHAHA. we got lots of fun ya knowwww.
watching he mad not gentlely, posting some status about us and he not even faced the problem.
like.. he should text us about the problem and resolve it. thats called 'a guy' ryt? he's completely not.

the way he text me become so rude, oh heey dude you're a GUY, you dont supposed to be like that.
im the one who should..i meant we're the one who should.

these words always crossing my mind ''why the heck should i knew you....again?''
BUTT, if i didnt know him for the second time, i wouldnt knew his real character look like.
and i wouldnt knew her, she helps a lots.

should i find another guy? oh bitch shut up, i found one. before him.
i left him because of that 'GAY'. he loved me, and ever shooted me but i ignore him because of that 'GAY'
what the heck i was thinking!!!!
i left the one who love me? i know i know...crazy.

he compliment me everyday, we're meet everyday.
he smiled at me, he laughs, and know what? HE SINGING FOR MEEEEEE.
his voice, spazzing me out but that 'gay' ruined everything,
dang, im so stupid. he's so perfect and i left him cause of an unperfect GAY... GAY... okay too much.

fuckin regret, so glad that he not even mad at me and..
he still said lots sweets words for me <3 awwwhhh...
not like that 'gay' kay imma change it with 'guy'.
not like that 'guy'.. he said sweet things to me and to her. weeee got hurt, asshole.

okay i conclude that, he's not the best. he's not everything, he's my nothing :3 awwh sweet ryt? :]
noo...  none of boy i loved are my everything. they're anything,
and my family are everything.

u racist bastard boy, i screw u nigga.

TOODLES xoxo:]

Rabu, 28 Desember 2011


23dec, thats the day when he sent me a relationship request on facebook and asked me
to accept it or not. but the strange feeling i got is, im not even happy. and on that day i felt so lazy to text him back.. guess the feeling was faded. felt so relieved :)
i think about it more than twice but in the next day he canceled the request.
i was like, whatever, he not really mean it.

then we're texting and ended up with fight.
'You'll be his second choice'' those words running around my mind.
i dont know what i was thinking, suddenly, i deleted his phone number with no reason.
confused... where else should i find his number again.

i have no more idea, i decided to ask her abt his number.
in the next day she replied nicely. and i said 'thanks'
not long afterward, she ask me something and we're started to swapping our stories.
its getting funny and so interesting. all i can said is 'wooow really? he said that to you too?'
and ended up with my loudest laugh HAHAHA.

some of the annoying things about her that i ever thought, completely wrong.
she's a nice person, and you know what? WE'RE FRIEND NOWWW. unbelievable ryt? :3

after a very very long conversation story, we decided to tweet something to nudge him.....
theeeen he retweeted our tweets and start to tweet something about us....hahahaha he said some rude words for us -______- not fuckin gentle.

we both chose to text him. know what? WE BOTH WORK TOGETHER to tease him.
its getting funny  seriously, she's so extremely fun! :3
HE GET MAD. lol i never felt like this, b4 i was like.....
well, i replied his messages and love him, we both love him.

so happy to know that she actually care about me, and afraid that he will hurt me 'again'
me either! i knew that he loved her so much, but i wont let it happen, no no im not jellyyy -_-
i dont want she get hurt anymore, not anymore..

dont know how much teardrops we spent for him, well nowww not anymore babeeeeh :]

feel so free! glad to knew that we're friend now and not gettin jelly eachother!

thank you so much! you're such an angel!! :3

Rabu, 21 Desember 2011

Come on. Seriously? I'm me dude.


well there, i saw you give some fuck to me but i threw it back to you :]
you dont even know my story, the story between me and him that happened a very long time ago.
it almost similar with yours BUT please dont act like i copied your story.
i have mine. think harder, am i gain any good things from copying ur love story? absolutely not.
i got some interesting side from my own love story, it happened naturally not even copying from people.
i have to say sorry for what i've done to you that made you mad or pissed off [ even idk what am i done?]

i know his story, what he feel right now. sometimes, he told me what just happened to him
and you know what?. some of his story r about you, about how awesome you are,
about how meaningful you are for him. ME, the girl that ever loved him, listening to his story
carefully, i gave some advice for him and try to make him stronger. but guess what?

IM NOT PERFECT. PERFFFECT. im not smurfy perfect.
i have my own way to do any things. not pretending to live the life of other people.
seriously, you pissed me off to. well i cant say everything about what just happened.
some of them is a secret.

Im truly sorry if you dont like me, im sorry if you think im suck but most of all
Im sorry i dont give a fuck. you do? whtever.
and i never apologize for what i feel, its like saying sorry for being real :]
I will always be me, emotions may change but feelings dont.

all i want is you to stop thinking that you're over me.
over in mean that if i have my own story and ours almost same, you're the one that think im copying.
all i want you is you to stop thinking that i just ruined everything, ruined every little things in your life.
maybe u dont said so but i thought so.

the last.
u dont know his feelings right now, how hurt he is, how confused he is.
i know it all but it doesnt mean that im more perfect for him than you. NO
I will always listen his story although some of his sttory are about you.

GTFO. and peace <3

I did.

Selasa, 13 Desember 2011

I Realized.

ear you that i almost forgot...
I admit that im just barely stupid enough to forgot you for himhe isnt completely like me for who i am.  
I was think that he's just using me as his saturated and when his girl ignored him.I never send any message to know ur condition right now or later, I never replied your chat and when you commented my status on facebook, I was ignoring you because the status i made was for him x(
sorry .. I know I was stupid enough and I know you're the kind of person i surely need.
you're there when I really needed someone like you but I would expect a jerk like him who is just using me as a friend for his ''boredom'' things. *kinda*
now I realized, I dont need a guy like him anymore, the one and i only need is you
someone who really cares about me, though I still ignore you, and till now you still like me and and you ignored my atittude.and now im so happy because when I think about you thats the time when you text me. how about him? he sorta  upset because she was ignoring him, he kinda got frustrated because no one loves him completely. he confused ......
I'm having fun because i basically feel so fuckin free and i dont need more tears to pour out everything he did to me.how about him? confused because her atittude was unpredictable,he got tired running for her....
and anyway you will never know how many times i've laid in my bed just thinking how stupid my atittude was in the last 2 month. im sorrySincerely, a girl who will never ever try to forget you..
anyway, if YOU read this please smile x)

Sabtu, 10 Desember 2011

Hate this feelings so much

Dear someone who i'm trying to forget...

Just when you put it all behind you, just
when you forget about where you've been,

he comes back into your life & you realize you still need him..

What i have with him is worth it,
it is worth every lonely night, ever teari cry from missing him, & the pain i feel
from not having him close, it's worth itbecause he is my one and only, when i
picture myself years from now, i see
only him, no matter how painful the
distance can be, not having him in my
life would be so much worse..

I still have feelings for you.
not enough to want you back,
but enough to make it hurt.

And I don't miss you and you alone...I miss you and me together

eventually something is bound to happen
either you will realize that i worth it
or i will realize that you're not.
miss your smile, but
miss my own more
love rhymes with hideous car wreck
It’s hard to wait around for something you know won’t happen but it’s even harder when its everything you want

*.:.I see your screen name pop up...
I don’t want to chat you right away, I don’t want to seem desperate,
I wait a few minutes but after a while I lose the courage
I need to talk to you... please do me a favor chat me first.:.*

I cant say I don’t miss you..
because whenever I think about you,
my heart breaks all over again.
But I’m happy you’re with her...
she deserves to get her heart stomped on.
it’s the hardest thing in the universe
to listen to the guy you love talking
about the girl you want to be

but dont worry, I'll go away, far away from your life. 
I'll pretending like we NEVER meet and pretending like we never had a relationship 7 years ago.
i know, im strong so i can passed it by myself.
she deserve you more, i know you need her, only her than me.
I'm happy that you forget everything about us easily..you didnt get hurt
but i did and its fine as long as you didnt get hurt..
well, just forgot it, someday if we meet i promise to God its going casual.

Sincerely, Someone who's in the process to forget you.

Mixed feelings

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody?
You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. 
But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. 
There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand.
If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone.
People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. 
At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. 
You feel the way you do just because.
You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.. wait..
Mixed feelings, i dont really like this feelings. i feel so strange

Kay, I know its too late.


sorry ive been so crazy.
yeah now like what you guys see, ive made a new blog for myself-_-
actually, ive got 2 blog before but yeah i forgot the email and password.
its gonna be a place where im gonna pour out what has happened to me, even its bad or no.
i have a lots of diary book but i think its just basically useless.
well this is my blog, if you guys didnt like it JUST DONT READ IT KAY -_- and dont think im GROUSE. i actuall not but if theres lot of words in my mind that i would like to pour out, I BECAME GROUSE.

so wanna still get in touch with me?
here's the link where u can find me.

My twitter:
The first one is my official twitter acount, second was fanbase account and the last one for some love life advice.
My facebook:
http://facebook.com/ameliabiebsladies or search it Amelia Setyawati
and i know thats kind of YUCKS link.
My tumblr:
My Msn:
My YM:
Its kind of old email, so its a bit stupid.
My youtube:
I barely can sing, dance and rapping ;)