Kamis, 12 Januari 2012


i hate it.

but there's a thing i hate the most. DECISION. fuck
i hate it lots, i never can make a great decision.... in everythings.
i always feel so unlucky, even some people keep saying to me about ' proud to be yourself'
well i listen 'em but i was never slightest proud to be myself.
i hate how the movies i watched have a perfect endings, well dont take it seriously
i just DISLIKE it, because they just aired a show that.....doesnt make sense!
give a hope to the people who feeling hopeless, and as if to say 'ITS EASY TO LIVE'

believe it or no ( lol who cares? no one.)
everytime i watched movies about a perfect life and beautiful endings, thoughts about my life randomly came and my tears start to falling down...cause my life is totally the opposite of it.. so damp huh?

maybe thats just me?
yap one of unlucky girl on earth.
always surrounded by decision, complicated problems, life problems.
never feels so whispy or easy for me to live it. 

boy, no i dont want to think about it, cause its just freakin me out.
give me hopes, loving me and gone. 
is that wht boys usually do? like seriouly or ist just me?
all i need is just a friend. a guy friend.
i dont feel like 'HELLO IM FOREVER ALONEE, IM SINGLEE' ew sucks.
i enjoyed it as long as i can breathe.

i dont want to kill myself just because aboy that left me alone? sounds so sad? poor me.
well i just posted something on my facebook and so glad i got some response from people...
gave me spirit, making me strong. hw about him? HAHAHAHA ofcourse he will never care.
he's not a real man.

and its from my friend in bangkok:

''Hey,i don't even know if you post is real, but Please don't kill yourself! Your Young, you have a beautiful life ahead of you! And i know life has Ups and Downs! But I promise everything will get better! If you actually do it, all your problems are gonna be gone, but just imagine if your parent comes in your room to tell you that dinner is ready, they will see you lying on the floor or maybe covered up in blood, and they will always ask themself if it was their fault, and it will affect every person you know or in your school! I know life is hard! But please DONT! I'll always be here if you want to talk! 
"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end" 
xxx Please Stay Strong!''

thankyou so much, you know im happy, im just abit stressed tonight, dont know what i was thinking. blame problems <3

but for now i hate to be me, i hate being like this, i hate to have some complicated people around, i hate to make a decision, i hate it. i hate you.

Toodles, xoxo.

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